I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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