glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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