I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
