ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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