I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize