Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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