no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
