I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize