he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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