it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize