Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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