man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
