This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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