I forgot how hot balto sounded
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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