why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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