We're like a lot better than the average bears
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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