is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize