Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year