He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY