She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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