this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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