Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
