Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off