I like my sex mixed with concussions.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?