You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.