I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet