What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night