1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize