Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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Every concussion has its silver lining
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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