so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize