I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize