....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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