I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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