I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
