I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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