she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.