I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped