no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize