um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.