What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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