Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize