i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
