I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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