our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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