All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.