I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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