Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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