I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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