we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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