if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
