you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ttyl tear gas
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.