I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.