i don't like sucking hair
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want her autograph on my taint
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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