everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i out mim tonsoeep
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