i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
