He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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