Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I won the penis lottery.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router