they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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