Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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